Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Discourse

So I've been hemming and hawing over whether or not to continue this blog. If hemming sits on the side of continuing, hawing has definitely been winning out. This is probably pretty apparent seeings as my posts have been few and far between. I can blame much for my absence: Team DeBoer being down with the sickness, a difficult pregnancy, a 9pm bedtime, my nagging need for posts to be perfect prior to posting … but basically, it's been my general lack of time, ambition or motivation. If I've mustered any "free" time lately, all I've wanted to do is sit down and watch TV. And by that I mean watch one of two television shows I pay attention to: The Amazing Race and The Daily Show. Every other minute of my day has been spent sleeping, working, looking after Maci, spending time with Shawn, ignoring Norman, baby-prepping, budgeting, reading, cooking, cleaning, bathing and carrying around way too much weight. Being overwhelmed with what is every day, blogging got put on the back burner. Something more important, pertinent or necessary always came up.

But then … something happened.

I discovered this little widget called, "Popular Posts." I applied it to my blog layout and up populated a post called Grandpa Miller. A couple others that followed closely were entitled Cletus (ironically one's about the first, the other's about the sequel). Still others read Challenge, Stories and Question. Even random posts titled Touchdown, Soda and Chicago appeared. Last but not least, there was a photo montage of the Mae Meister. As I reread these entries I quickly remembered why I ever bothered with this whole blogging thing in the first place: I want to remember. Things are worth recording and you know what, I'm a pretty damn good writer, and entertaining at that. I found myself chuckling out loud at my own work. I found myself tearing up, smiling, furrowing my brow and admiring my photos. I found myself hemming again.

Then, as if to compound my mere efforts to make memories a permanent part of written history, I had two people approach me in the same week asking about my issues with anxiety. It could have been a crazy coincidence or it could have been that others were grateful for my openness and honesty regarding somewhat personal or taboo topics. Others related to what I was saying and found enough comfort in my approach to ask me more about it. Sometimes I may say too much making people feel nothing but uncomfortable but other times, I unintentionally make myself an advocate. Again I remember. I remember back to what it feels like to be in the middle of your own crazy and nothing makes you feel better then learning you're not alone and that someone else knows what you're going through. Misery may love company but company is necessary to deal with misery. Thus, my hemming grew.

The last straw, we traded in my 24-inch iMac for a 15-inch MacBook Pro. Gone are the days of hibernating in the back guest room freezing my ass off to write a post. Nothing deters blogging like frigid fingers and an icicle ass. It turns out, a gas fireplace in the dead middle of a brutally long Minnesota winter can silence all hawing and once again, blogs can be written.

So here I sit, posting another blog. Vowing to renew my efforts to keep up with this hobby of mine. And I've got a doozy of a follow up post for ya … in TMI tradition, I will be elaborating on this pregnancy. If you are squeamish, shy or male, don't say I didn't warn you.

8 comments:

  1. I am so glad the hemming outweighed the hawing! I find such enjoyment reading your blogs. If you can make this girl laugh and cry with just one posting you KNOW you are an amazing writer! Keep em' coming girly! Can't wait to see what else is in store. BRING ON THE TMI!

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    1. Oh Tammie … you don't know what you're in store for! :)

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  2. You should write. For yourself. For others. To work out internal problems. To rant about external problems. To share you are human. Those who purposely follow you do so because we admire your openess, covet your way with words or just enjoy having another cup of coffee while catching up w/Team DeBoer. More importantly, you should write for those who stumble across your blog and find a connection in their soul. They may never "out" themselves they are followers, but they will drop by from time to time to see where a soul connection takes them. Its like legos. We need as many pieces as we can connect to in order to be whole.

    I love you. Remember, write when you MUST not when we want!

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    1. Good points although my perspective on the intentions of this blog have changed tremendously. It started as a way to let peeps know about our hew home, turned into somewhat of an op-ed forum and now I just want to record my thoughts, feelings, photos, etc. so that someday Shawn and I can look back, enjoy, read and reminisce.

      Love you, too!

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  3. I've missed you..in all your *you*! But I'll take what I get whenever it moves you! I have writers envy everytime you post--
    Syd

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    1. …writer's envy. Wow, thanks for quite a compliment faithful reader!

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  4. I'm glad you're back Kali!! I love honest, funny, real life blogs! You crack me up and make me cry! Your's isn't one of those sugar coated "my life is perfect without turmoil or trouble" blogs. You speak from your heart and share a part of yourself with each of us. You happen to be a great writer, who also happens to be a very special "daughter" to me!! Keep up the good work as a blooger, wife, and mom. PS I doubt Norman feels ignored!! Love you all! SUE

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    1. Haha! I'm too busy eating my sugar to coat anything else with it! Miss you Mama Sue!

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