Thursday, April 28, 2011


Here's a sneak peek into Cletus's nursery. Don't mind the imperfections on our wall, the flash reflection on the tote packaging, the empty frame, the unmatted painting… it's obviously still a work in progress but there's been progress none the less. And this way, you get to see the beautiful, bright, boldness that is color! Gender neutral color mind you…

Monday, April 25, 2011


The dates don't match up on the calendar but the memory still holds as firm in my mind as the grief in my heart. Last Easter, on Easter, I had to say goodbye to Dad. So, this Easter, pardon me for not leaping at the chance to celebrate and rejoice and praise everything above. Ironically, Dad would be pretty pissed at me for not doing so. Not going to church, not seeing family and not celebrating. But I can't help it. I'm still mad, I'm still sad and I'm being selfish by being in denial and taking the easy way out: pure avoidance. If I don't acknowledge the holiday and the events of last year, it never happened right?

Except it did. I guess there's nothing I can do about it now. And I guess if it never happened, other things might not have happened. Good things. Cletus things. Who knows what this year might have looked like. Last year I saw the man that helped create me for the last time and this year I'm going on seven months with my own creation. It's an odd perspective but it shows that life moves on. Whether you want it to or not. And there will still be shitty days but there will also be great days. It's the valleys that make the peaks so worth it but it's the peaks that make the valleys so damn hard. I can't assume things will ever level off because that's not just life. That's not reality. So while I might ignore celebrating Easter in ways we have in the past, I do acknowledge the God I believe in and have faith that everything happens for a reason. I just don't know the reason yet.

This year, our little family of four and a half spent the weekend together getting things done. We didn't go to church, we didn't even talk to family and we didn't celebrate with chocolate, bunnies or even Cadberry eggs. We kept to ourselves and I, specifically, chose to ignore the holiday. I didn't chose to ignore my memories though. Dad crept into my head several times as did the urge to call Ty and Tammy (who I miss and haven't seen in what feels like forever), Mom (who is so close I should've drove to visit) and Mandi and the family (because she seems to keep the faith alive the most). See people, I do have feelings. I just haven't been able to sort them out into anything logical by the deadline of Easter so you'll have to forgive me and just appreciate my honesty. Or, blame the pregnancy hormones, whatever suits you.

We shall see what next Easter brings… I have faith and hope things will work themselves out. Because the God I believe in wouldn't have it any other way.

Monday, April 18, 2011


"Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch! Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead."
-Wizard of Oz

It might not appear as a witch to you but it's a bitch of a witch to me. Team DeBoer has resided in this house for just over four years and I have hated the fan that hangs in our dining room every hour of every day of every month of those four years. Hate. Sure, it's practical, it has a remote and it was fairly new when we moved in but none of this negates it's ugliness. The fake wood, the brassy hardware, the flower-petal-shaped glass surrounds, the tiny Christmas-light-like light bulbs. Ew. Ew. Ew.

The witch, up close and personal.

The witch in it's natural habitat the very first day we saw our house.

I had previously found a fabulous replacement but didn't have the heart, or funds, to purchase it from Pottery Barn where it tipped the monetary scales at $375+. Even though it went on sale a couple of times, I still couldn't bring myself to spend the money. Just as I was working up the courage and savings to change my mind, Pottery Barn discontinued the model. Bastards. Needless to say I've been a little bitter ever since. I'd show you a photo but I gave up trying to find one on the Internet and in one of my feng shui moods, I tossed all my old PB catalogs so as to declutter my space and mind.

I continued to keep an eye out and ironically, finally spotted a suitable replacement while crib shopping for Cletus. I didn't come home with a crib but I came home with something that made me even happier. Introducing our new, sleek, modern, contemporary and elegant light fixture from Crate and Barrel!

Picture it with painted window trim, tape removed, curtains and all the fixins.

This is a view from the kitchen.

Now I realize it may not be everyone's cup of tea and it may be hard to appreciate it's beauty given it's unfinished surroundings but I LOVE it. It resembles the fixture I originally loved at Pottery Barn in that it has a square surround. This model just happens to have a pendent inside as opposed to the four candle pillars of the PB version. Our dining room is very small to begin with so I love that it hangs low to provide intimate lighting but is narrow enough not to obstruct any views or pathways. I love that it offsets the traditional lines of the table and I love that it's oil bronze finishings match our existing curtain rod and kitchen fixtures.

I tried to get a non-flash photo so pardon the overall darkness.
Thanks to neighbor Mike, it was successfully installed in a couple of hours (which included a quick trip to the local Ace Hardware for some spare parts). No one was hurt or electrocuted during the installation and the witch was properly dismantled and dumped. Check that off the renovation list! At this rate, we might get the quarter-round put up in the kitchen and box in the basement insulated by 2015! It's a marathon people… not a sprint… especially when the ole money tree isn't sprouting.
Photo taken from Crate and Barrel's Web site.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011


Coach Boone: What are you?
Team: Mobile, agile, hostile!
Coach Boone: What is pain?
Team: French bread!
Coach Boone: What is fatigue?
Team: Army clothes!
Coach Boone: [Coach puts hand to his ear] Will you ever quit?
Team: No! We want some mo', we want some mo', we want some mo'!
-Remember the Titans

I'm eating a brownie for breakfast as I type this (thanks Bree!). I consider it a reward for a weekend that kicked my ass. Well, not the whole weekend, Sunday really. Cletus and I painted, all day painted! Yes, the paint was either low or no VOC, yes the room was well ventilated, yes I made sure to drink some water and take some breaks, calm down people (Mom). The nursery is making progress. The trim is all painted, the tape around the window is down, I've "cut in" the first coat and Shawn filled it in on Monday. If you've ever seen my bathroom you know I aint about to paint a baby room in pastels so prepare yourself. I would show you work-in-progress photos but a) I don't like judgments of a room until it's finished and b) I was too lazy to take any photos.

Now, back to my leading quote. Shawn and I recite this little paragraph a lot. Mostly the question of what is pain. Like most women, I think I have a strong threshold for pain. However, I've discovered and I have new threshold for what I call endured pain. That means the pain that ensues the day after you did something that kicks your ass. I hurt in places I forgot existed. Standing on your feet, on and off a ladder, all day, really does a number on everything below your neck, especially to places a woman should never hurt. I apologize men but if I don't start revealing these truths about pregnancy, no one will. Praise Jesus for my lovely Sara who surprised me with a gift certificate for an hour massage. I heart her. Hopefully this helps at least the back pain subside just in time to tackle the second coat. I was hoping to get this finished this week, however, my sister Mandi is in town starting Thursday night so we have to take some time to rearrange the house (again) so she doesn't end up sleeping with the pooches. It's amazing how small our house is getting by the day… but we're tackling things and making progress and my body, although achy, is holding up. Paint on pregnant people!

I want some mo', I want some mo', I want some mo'!

Thursday, April 7, 2011


Since enough of you have asked, you shall receive. Here are the infamous belly shots, weeks 14 through 24 (minus a week - which I think was 18). It's amazing, Cletus has been incubating for six months as of yesterday and you get to see the progress in six seconds. See, there was a reason I kept you in suspense. Immediate gratification.

Now, don't be jealous. Not everyone can rock sweatpants like I can. Others have tried and failed so don't feel bad when you too don't look as good as I do in them. Some of us were just born with the talent. I'd also like to publicly apologize to Cletus for putting photos of the future Maumma online for the world to see. At least there will be evidence to show the therapist…

Week 14 – This is weird.

Week 15 - I'm too tired to smile, or shower apparently.

Week 16 - Sweatpants AND a homemade Hooters shirt. Hollar at my BFF!

Week 17 - The Zoolander pose is hot… in sweatpants.

Week 19 - Hippie Zoolander, I have no idea people, I'm pregnant, I've lost all rationale.

Week 20 - If I close my eyes, I can pretend I'm skinny.

Week 21 – Keep it down down there.

Week 22 – Dude, pretty sure my pants are unbuttoned AND unzipped.

Week 23 – In case you needed help identifying the bump.

Week 24 – Not looking good when I have to start bracing my own back.

Monday, April 4, 2011


This is a big week for Team DeBoer.

Today marks the one year anniversary of the passing of my Dad.

My Mom will officially be cancer free for an entire year this week.

Mr. DeBoer's future employment at his school is determined this week.

Cletus turns 24 weeks or 6 months this Wednesday.

I will finish painting the trim in Cletus' room this week. This will mark the first time the tape around a new window will come down, only one year after they were installed.

As if that all weren't enough, the Twins start a series against the Yankees today, AT Yankee stadium.

Sarcasm (and Celexa) keep me sane.

Lots of Oreos and deep breaths this week. When I survive, I'll regroup and reflect. 


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