Theme

I'm sort of having a mid-blog crisis. I've come to notice this blog, Team DeBoer, lacks a solid theme. I guess it doesn't necessarily need one, I just feel my posts are so sporadic I should maybe instead, hone in on something and stick to it? About three and a half years ago I started this blog to document the remodel of our kitchen. From there it ballooned to other house projects/failed attempts to our travels to our family of four to the randomness that is my brain. I don't have to toe the line so-to-speak, I just wonder if I would recruit a broader range of followers had I a sphere of expertise? Therein, I think, underlies my problem. I don't really feel I possess such a sphere. At least not one many would find interesting. Or maybe I just lack confidence…

I don't have children. That knocks out over 83% of you I'm sure. I proclaim myself a pseudo designer/DIYer at best and any knowledge I could pass on, I've probably just read from some other blog. I could learn to cook but I feel I would betray my grilled cheese and french fries and I'm just not okay with that. I could continue the tales of having two tails running around the house but most of you already know all there is to know about Norman and Leo. I can confidently say I'm able to organize a mean closet or purge better then Peter Walsh but fear some may think my OCD is indeed not under control, despite my meds. I see the looks I get when I tell people I color coordinate my closet and all the shirts are facing the same direction. They want to run away. Fast. I'll bet half of you are still squirming from my use of the word meds. There's general life advice giving but I would just be copyrighting anything Shawn or my counselor's ever told me so that's not pure and I wouldn't be living my best life. Let's face it, who wants to let down Oprah? I could sugar coat the ordinary events that make up my day but I'm not that good of a liar and I'm not prepared to absorb your judgments.

So… I'll put it out there. What do you want to hear about? What don't you want to hear about. What are you sick of hearing? Can I look something up for you? Can I connect you with a better resource? What can I say that will make you comment to this very post? What will entice you to follow this blog? What will keep you coming back? I want to know what you want to know and am willing to do some leg work and learn. Speak now or forever listen to me teeter totter back and forth between mourning the loss of my Dad, trying to decorate my house and living in a small space with three very cute, but very close shadows.

Reveal

It's been a process in the making but our new living room is coming together quite nicely. We have new sofas (both el cheapo Craigslist finds), a new end table (well, refinished), new entertainment center (eh, also refinished), new carpet (single splurge in the room) and well, new windows (don't mind the trim that has yet to be painted - that's next up on my list). I'll break it down:

This is the overall concept. Before, very monochromatic. All colors are close to each other on the color wheel therefore the room is very harmonious but doesn't have a lot of umpf and although it's warm, it makes the space look smaller.

old, monochromatic living room

Now, the colors are actually complimentary which means they're opposite each other on the color wheel (orange and blue). Therefore there is high contrast which inevitably makes the space look larger. The sofas are both neutrals as are the newly refinished end table and entertainment center. Things just look more crisp and clean. Can you tell I've been watching Color Confidential on HGTV?

new, complimentary living room

This is the old rug. I don't know what we were thinking other then it was cheap and neutral and well… that was it. Yes, we got some good use out of it but it's no longer remotely close to the color it started at and since it's woven, we cannot steam clean it ourselves. With pooches one and two, we have to be able to deep clean it ourselves, and often.

old rug, destroyed by the dogs

Here is the new rug, which actually was not the first we tried. I ordered one online from Target and while I liked it, it was much too big and of course, the smaller version was not available. After that returning fiasco, I found this one… at Pottery Barn. (cringe) Normally I can't ever justify buying anything at their prices but it was on sale, it was the floor model and we can steam clean it ourselves. Plus, it's actually comfortable to lay on and just happens to go with the space perfectly. My only snafu currently is that we don't have a rug pad or rug tape and therefore it stays in this position for no longer then 36 seconds before one or both of the dopey bassets come charging through and drag it towards the fireplace. Arg!

new rug, not yet destroyed by the dogs

The only photo I could find of the way our entertainment center used to look was from our infamous, impromptu Slanket photo shoot. You can't see the whole thing but you can see enough to see it was awful. It was oak, well some of it fake oak, with a glass door on the left and bright, brassy hardware. Ick.

old entertainment center, circa 1984

Here's the newly redone, whiter, brighter and more beautiful entertainment center. We left off the glass door on the left and the wooden small doors on the lower right. There was just no need and this way we didn't have to find replacement hardware. This took a harsh sanding period (first with 200 then 80 grade sandpaper using an electric sander), oil-based primer and three coats of semi-gloss pure white paint from Sherwin Williams. Since the backing to the unit has long been gone, I spent a tedious amount of time rearranging the cables and cords in the back so you couldn't see them. Great trick: buy the cord organizers from 3M.

new entertainment center, circa… at least 2000

Here's a close up of my favorite part of the entertainment center. Because we left the bottom right doors off, we needed a replacement storage idea otherwise it would just be bare space. Have I mentioned I love Target? And not just because it's a Minnesota store. I found these totes in the college back-to-school area for $6.99 a piece. The fact that the blue was in the range I was looking for made me so happy and the price tag helped make Shawn so happy. The other striped tote I've actually had forever. I got it as well as a second, similar piece from Pottery Barn years and years ago.

close up of favorite totes

This was the only photo I could find of the old end table. I obviously knew how bad the old furniture was and therefore never photographed it. Plus I was so anxious to start the refinishing process, I didn't bother with photos… well, there were a few but they were taken by Shawn and I'll show you some of my favorites later. This was also a fake-y oak with bright brass hardware and the top had many a water spots.

old end table, also circa 1984

This is the new end table, at an odd angle I might add. This required the same process as the entertainment center and was actually done first which was probably a good thing because the entertainment center took MUCH longer and might have deterred me from completing this piece. The bottom of the lamp doesn't have the greatest padding so we bought a place mat from Target to protect the top and break up the white.

new end table, circa at least 2000

Here's a front angle. We replaced the knobs on both the door and pullout tray with ones we found at Home Depot. Then we spray painted the hinges with an oil bronze color we found at Sherwin Williams. We couldn't find a close enough replacement hinge so the spray paint option worked like a charm.

front view of end table

You can't tell from any of the photos but we also added wheels to the bottom. The bottom inside of the base is hollow so it was an easy enough addition. And because I lost the gumption to deal with the inside, I used contact paper I found at Target for the three sides and that woven drawer liner stuff you typically use for kitchen cabinets for the base. This usually just houses Norman and Leo's toys so we didn't have to get too fancy schmancy.

inside view of end table

There you have it - our new abode. I'll bet your thinking, man, that fireplace is an eye sore! It's so ugly and out of place with the new, bright beautiful furniture and rug. You would be correct! That's our next project. Okay so I said painting the trim was our next project and technically it is. The trim we'll be doing ourselves but the fireplace will be getting a face lift from some professional folk. I don't want to give away too much but it will be converted to gas, those hideous shelves I've hated since forever will be gone, there will be some new dimension and it will knock your socks off!

spiffy new setup

Nello

Nello is part of the card game 500. Not having the time or patience to describe 500 to you in detail, I'll instead just advise you to Google it. It's similar to Euker and involves partners, bidding, bowers and a blind. The basic idea is to use trump to take tricks to win hands to earn points to reach 500. The exception to this generality is nello. Nello is what you bid when you don't want to take any tricks. You've basically been dealt a bunch of crap and can't bid anything worth anything. It's like a life raft for the game of 500 and gives you an option to play despite your bad hand. Better yet, it's worth 250 points and generally frustrates most opponents once bid because it forces everyone to play backwards. The complete objective of 500 gets reversed and therefore, at least for me, requires exponential thinking and strategic play.

Dad was THE best at nello. I don't know what it was but nello came very easy to him and he took full advantage of it. He was always one with the numbers. I, on the other hand, came around to the idea of nello very hesitantly and literally sweat bullets the first couple of times I tried it. I always asked questions though. Every time I lost, I wanted to know what I had done wrong. Nowadays, I'm not a pro but am much more confident. Case in point, last Sunday we were at Mom's playing cards. It was Grandma and I versus Mom and Aunt Vashni. Our opponents had 490 points. Without going into the math of it all, just know that Grandma and I basically needed to bid and get all of the tricks. I, of course, had crap. If it was going to come down to it, I'd rather us lose then let them win. That being said, I went for it. I went big and I didn't go home. I bid DOUBLE nello. This means I had to play with just my hand. I didn't get help from the five cards in the blind or from my partner as with regular nello. It all came down to me and my hand. I was sweating bullets again.

I can't give you the actual play-by-play or Shawn's color commentary. I can only tell you…
…I won! That's right, by some small miracle, I pulled it out. I didn't get a single solitary trick and I did it all by myself. Grandma and I got 500 points for my victory and we came from behind to beat Mom and Vashni! I was so happy and honestly, a little surprised. Dad would have been so proud.

I think cards are an under appreciated pastime that I wish more people would find time for.

Working

While the boys have been working out…

I've been working in - in an entertainment center.

These past couple of weekends we've had a quiet block and therefore kept ourselves busy with home projects instead. We cleaned out the garage and reorganized it. We offloaded our old loveseat and a florescent lamp from the garage, thanks to Craigslist. Shawn repaired the garage door thanks to a busted cable. We sanded, painted and rehardwared the end table we've had forever because I can't find anything I like and am too cheap to purchase anything brand new. We bought a new living room rug but quickly discovered it was too big and are therefore on the search again. Finally, we sanded and primed the entertainment center that we've also had forever but are too cheap to replace. All it needs now are a couple coats of nice semi-gloss white paint and it will be finished! Both it and the end table were of the 80's generation - fake oak and brassy gold hardware. Although they matched some of the decor of our 1950's house, it was time for a change.

As soon as the entertainment center is done, I hope to post after photos of it and the end table and hopefully a new rug and thus a new living room! Hopefully this motivation leads me right into painting the trim and baseboards, hanging the curtains back up and FINALLY replacing the light fixture in our dining room! After that… let's see… there's new window treatments for the bedrooms, new hardware for the doors, new covers for the outlets, redoing the fireplace, finishing the basement, repainting some rooms, replacing our mini deck with a patio, replacing the back door of the garage…

Anger

I've put off posting this for quite some time. Tonight I've decided – I've festered enough. I'm not shy. I'm not afraid of speaking my mind. Why worry about posting my thoughts about something that has come to affect me no matter how hard I've tried to put it at bay. I told my Mom blogging is therapy. Here goes today's session.

No one, I repeat, no one has the right to judge anyone else. I'm not saying I'm a saint and haven't been guilty of this on occasion. No one is perfect. However this time, it's personal. No matter how hard I tried to avoid it, I ended up having to hear others judgments of my Dad. In the midst of dealing with the greatest loss I've ever had to encounter and saying goodbye to half of the reason I exist today, rumors seeped into conversations around me. We didn't even get through the lunch after the funeral without people opening their mouths in speculation. Now, three months later, people still haven't shut up. I've said time and time again I know gossip is going around but I really, really, really don't care and don't want to hear it. Truth is, it's inevitable.

I know small towns are great. Don't misunderstand my intentions as I'm not trying to downplay the help we received. I know, felt and was touched by the love and support of my friends and family and our community. Understandably, most have gone back to their daily lives but unfortunately, I'm left, at times, with a sour taste in my mouth and anger in my head. Sometimes a small town doesn't seem to know when to mind their own business. Why? Why do others concern themselves with what happened or speculate as to why or how it happened? Why do people feel it's their place to judge someone they knew absolutely nothing about? Why do people not think before they open their mouths? Why is my family not considered when everyone feels the need to know? I know the world does not revolve around me or my problems so why should someone else's coffee conversation?

No matter what anyone has thought or said out loud, people need to remember one thing. My Dad is someone to somebody. He is still someone's son, brother, husband, grandpa, coworker, cousin, uncle, friend. He is my Dad. If you respect that at all, you will know that that is enough and that is all you need to know. He was a person, not a headline. Ironically, he would've never wanted any of this attention and is probably wreaking havoc with the Man upstairs that I'm opening my mouth about this but I can't help it. He raised an outspoken daughter. I'm not staying quiet any more… but I am asking you to, at least where gossip is concerned.

One of the positives I've come to think fondly of is my Dad will always be 50 to me. I will always remember him at the peak of his existence. Everything gets better with age and my Dad was no exception. I always think and wonder what Dad's been up to. I had a hard time flying home from Virginia because as the wings cut through the clouds I couldn't help but smile knowing I was a little closer to Dad up in heaven. I bowed my head, pulled the rim of my hat down real low, turned up Spirit in the Sky and cried all the way home. I'd give anything to be able to talk to him again… even if it's just about hunting.

Consequences

Being an aunt can be hard work. You have to sustain your giggles when a niece gets put into time out. It was simply too cute.

Color

I recently finished The Book Theif by Marcus Zusak. If you have not read it, do. If you have not heard of it, click here. Learn. It's an incredible book. Set in Nazi Germany during WWII, death, of all things, narrates the story. I won't attempt to spin my own review (Amazon takes care of that), but I did want to mention it because I was struck by something.

The narrator begins the book by describing days as colors. Not necessarily the color of the sky or the surroundings, but the color of the feeling the day has. Being a graphic designer by trade, I've often found myself looking at colors in excess, but never as a descriptor of a day. It's a common fact that colors can influence mood. For instance, red/orange are typical kitchen colors because they represent energy. Blue/green are common bedroom colors because they represent calm. Pink also represents calm. That's why Hayden Fry painted the opponent's locker room pink. But days described as colors? That's a new one by me. Obviously a good one too as it's stuck with me since. Now, at one point during my day, every day, I assess it's color.

Patterns have already started to form. Mondays tend to be black, gray or brown or red. Shocking, I know. Weekends lend themselves to shades of blue. Fittingly, the days I can't stop thinking about Dad are green and the days I miss Mom are pink. Some days are obvious, some are not. Some are a combination. The color is not always decided by one singular criteria either. It's not always based on my mood, environment or who I'm surrounded by. It's a culmination of everything really. Although the patterns above seem logical, others come out of no where. It's all about gut feelings and as they say, you should always trust your gut.

Today? Today was tie-dye.

Discovery

Holy blogging Batman! I was reading a fellow blogger's recent post about her blog's one year anniversary and got the itch to see how long I've had this blog. Turns out… three years and three months! Again, holy blogging Batman! I didn't realize it has been that long! That means that my our kitchen remodel started that long ago and isn't technically finished yet. What remains? The quarter round. After Team DeBoer's treacherous tries at trim, we've put off trying anything else in that kitchen. Any volunteers? Better yet, any professional volunteers? Here's the post that started it all.

Problem

What problem? Seems to me Leo loves kids.

If you aren't sure what the heck I'm talking about, catch up on Leo here.

Genes

Obviously, I'm not going to talk about those of the denim kind. I'm actually not even going to talk about real genetics. I'm going to talk about a made-up gene. It's a gene I possess, but Shawn does not. I'm referring to the ever powerful, ever popular, (pardon the language) "f*ck it!" gene. It's the gene that allows a person, no matter the length of their to-do list or roll of responsibilities, to just drop everything and do something they want to do or better yet, to do absolutely nothing at all.

As I eluded to, I have this very gene. I believe I've come to possess it later in life, however, because I vividly remember Michelle, my college roommate, telling me on a number of occasions to "f*ck it!" and me not being able to for a plethora of reasons. Of course whenever she suggested it, it usually pertained to school work and, ummmm, how do I say this… she wasn't necessarily as academic as I? She would probably say she wasn't as big of a nerd as I was so whichever way you want to slice it, you get the point. I couldn't say screw it to my studies. Whatever the reason, I forged on with what needed to be done as opposed to what I wanted to get done. And sure, I thought about playing hookie on an occasional Saturday as opposed to working for ten hours but I didn't. Ever. What I'm trying to say is, I can't remember ever activating this gene in college.

Now? Presently I can call this gene to duty at the sound of a light sprinkle, the end of a stressful day, the middle of a lazy weekend or just when I'm taking a walk with a friend. I have no problem watching a movie instead of cleaning, enjoying a lovely brew with comrades to vent about work instead of going straight to bed, taking a nap in the middle of the day even though I slept until Noon or enjoying a couple of Oreos whilst I try and walk my dogs, instead of actually burning calories. I know recent events have polished off my real priorities so it's easier to do things I want to do as opposed to things I feel I need to do, but it's more then that. I know this because Shawn went through the exact same events and still, he does not possess this gene.

I often kid with him that we've morphed into each other's former self. In other words, I'm slowly fading to type B (with the exception of a few OCD tendencies) and he's morphing to type A, thanks largely in part to his educational responsibilities. Maybe that's why he does not possess this gene. Maybe because he's always wanting to practice what he preaches? Maybe because he can't justify a nap when there's always homework to be done. Maybe because he only eats discretionary calories on the weekends so it's pointless to think about them any other time, no matter his stress level, because let's face it, the man teaches health. We'll just have to wait for him to weigh in. The important thing to learn from Shawn is that the arch enemy to the "f*ck it!" gene is self control or self discipline. I'm not venturing to say which is better or more accurate but merely pointing out they are opposites. I would say I'm capable of  dropping everything and doing something relaxing and Shawn would say he's got enough self control to skip dessert.

Ironically, it's surprising any woman would possess the "f*ck it!" gene. Why? Because women never shut their minds off. **Men Read: Women never shut up.** Think of the rolling credits after a movie. That's what a woman's mind is like. All day. Every day. Without end. On my recent trip to Virginia, I put my book away on my flight home and tried to just listen to music, relax and blank everything else out. Instead, I nearly filled my entire notepad on my iPod with thoughts, ideas, to-dos, to-buys, tweedle-dee-de and everything in between. It was absurd. I could feel my stress level rising as I typed and thought and typed and thought and immediately, I needed Lysine (the vitamin that prevents cold sores).

I don't know that irony is the right label because it seems I'm able to choose when I say screw it to everything, yet, I build on my lists as if they're my life raft. I have a constant stream of thoughts at all times, yet, for the right mood, time or purpose, I can and will say "f*ck it!" Is it mood swings? My emotions? A wave of realization to what really matters? My lack of self control or self discipline? Or is it that I am an extremely healthy human being because I can and choose to do both and therefore my life is more holistic? Is it even healthy to let everything go for a while if remorse for wasted time will inevitably follow? Does it really just all boil down to perspective? Is it sad that as I type this, I now I should really be packing?