Changes

I anticipated some changes with being pregnant, but let's be honest, I really had no idea what was about to ensue. Naturally, some have caught me off guard and are a little, well, unnerving. I'm assuming all are normal but let's be honest, what does "normal" mean anyway.

First, there's the reality that I've recently taken up snoring, or at least that's what the husband tells me. I've always been a drooler, teeth grinder and jaw clencher so just be thankful I'm snuggling up next to Shawn and not you (or "Gary", but that's a whole other posting about great gifts you inherit from neighbors who have formally been pregnant).

Then there's my new found love (read: addiction) to salsa. Not just any salsa. Salsa Lisa salsa. This salsa binging inevitably leads to heart burn and "southern discomfort." Speaking of the southern body, everything is just "off." Things are shut down, things are turned up, nothing is the way it used to be and frankly, nothing good can come from any of it. Needless to say I'm feeling pretty damn sexy these days.

Let's not forget I now can't make it up a case of stairs without needing some oxygen administered, I can't make it through brushing my teeth without some involuntary gagging and I can't make it through the night without getting up to pee at least twice, if not three, four or five times.

Also, I'm forced to mourn the loss of a few of my former favorite foods: pancakes, pumpkin pie and Triscuits. The thought of them makes me want to regurgitate my dinner. There are others but of course I can't remember them. Hell, I can't remember what day it is. This brings me to my next point.

I can't remember my own name sometimes let alone anything else. I am a note writing FOOL these days. Or, I'm constantly telling Shawn to remind me of something. It's almost scary how stupid I feel, especially since I formally considered myself an intelligent person.

None of the above compare to this, however. The most disturbing of all, are the dreams. I have had some of the weirdest, and I mean mysteriously bizarre dreams. Ever. They're usually not scary but they can be depressing and are almost always the most eclectic combination of things, people or events. Ironically, I can remember them very, very well and I usually have about three full sets each night (probably starting the cycle over every time I get up to pee). Of all the things I need to remember, these are not it. Don't get me wrong, there are a few good ones in there but on a whole, yeah, not so good.

Only being 14 (or 15) weeks along, things are bound to get worse, if not more interesting. At least there is someone legally bound to walk this yellow brick road with me and lots of women surrounding me to assure me that when I do reach the Wizard of Oz, all will be worth it.

*deep cleansing breaths*