Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Woman's Lament

When I was in high school, I penned a rhyming, short poem titled, "A Short Person's Lament." In similar fashion, I'm here today to vent and whine, I just won't do it in a rhyme. Well, starting now.

I've struggled recently with the upkeep of being a woman. My husband (who I love) rises from bed, takes a shower, brushes his teeth, puts on some deo and some clothes and strolls out the door in less then 20 minutes. I, on the other hand, require anywhere from 45 minutes to over an hour to prep, depending on the occasion. The shorter end of the spectrum is often seen by true friends and family. I call this look, el naturaal. The longer end of the spectrum is for special occasions or life events. It's a look on the verge of extinction as I become more comfortable with myself in my own (el naturaal) skin or quite simply, as I become more lazy. Reasoning aside, and back to my original point of contention, women have far more upkeep then men. I hand-wrote a list of everything that personally needs tending and was appalled.

Needless to say, I don't do all of these daily. Sometimes I'm lucky if I do some of them monthly or even yearly. If you can frequent them all daily, let me know where you find the time and more importantly, what the hell for? Also, if you've been graced with "natural beauty," I hate and envy you in the same breath if nothing more then for the mere precious minutes you get to stay in bed later then I do. I am not a morning person.

I'll start from the top and work my way down (keep in mind this list does not include any medical needs or monthly occurrences):

HAIR
shampoo every other day, condition daily
brush and apply product
blow-dry
straighten or curl
apply more product
cut, color and/or highlight as needed

FACE
wash/cleanse/lotion twice daily
apply makeup
remove makeup
apply/rinse mask to help complexion
pluck/trim/wax eyebrows (and any other facial hair)
insert/remove contacts

TEETH
brush twice a day
floss twice a day
wear retainer at nights
whiten teeth
rinse with mouthwash

HANDS and FEET
trim/file fingernails (manicure)
paint fingernails
trim/file toenails (pedicure)
paint toenails
exfoliate feet
lotion feet

SHAVING/WAXING
you know all the parts (some more frequent then others)

SCENT
apply lotion
apply body spray/perfume
apply deo

WARDROBE
pick out ensemble
iron ensemble
accessorize/jewelry
choose shoes
choose bag/purse

My point in all of this: to show what I've learned from it. I now enjoy the freedom that comes with scratching some things off the list. For instance, I have to cut my fingernails now that I've finally been able to grow them. I HATE it. However, I deal with it by skipping painting my toenails. I have to wear something appropriate for work but I'm okay with not wearing much jewelry. I can get away with just blow-drying out my bangs and not straightening all of my hair because I'm okay with leaving it curly these days. No, I'm not settling. I'm becoming more comfortable with myself and I think that's more attractive then a third layer of eyeliner or an even bigger bag.

One final note: God bless mothers. Take my list and multiply it by the number of people they take care of. Good thing Norman's one of those I was referring to earlier. You know, the ones with "natural beauty."

1 comment:

  1. You're ability to write comments about the things we all take for granted continue to be a delight in my life. Little did I realize I do all that "stuff" and who really cares? Well for some of it, I care. And I hope for other tasks, others notice. And for the rest?? REALLY!!??!! I think at this age, I can finally get the "I'm good as it is" attitude!!

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