This post is chopped full of TMI. Don't say I didn't warn you.
In my Discourse post, I loosely described my pregnancy as difficult. In hindsight, that wasn't exactly … accurate. I'm not having complications, I'm not on bed rest, I do not have preeclampsia, gestational diabetes or placenta previa, and for all intents and purposes, Cletus is healthy, growing and kung-fo-fighting. And it's just Celtus; no twins, no triplets, no multiples. It goes without saying that for all of the above, I am very thankful. The sheer miracle of conceiving and growing a human being is not lost on me albeit it does remain hard to wrap my head around sometimes. It's an indescribable adventure unlike any other and one I am forever grateful I was able to experience.
All that being said, pregnancy is not pretty. At least not for me.
I am the poster child of pain and fatigue, of stretchy pants and stretchy marks. Aside from completely different food cravings (and aversions), I would describe Pregnancy Part II as identical to, but much more intense, than Pregnancy Part I. I'm having all the same side effects and issues, just much sooner, much worse and much, much more painful. I am a walking, talking science experiment and I long for the day I have my body back.
Aside from the intense fatigue (which is partially due to my recently-discovered iron-deficiency), there's of course the fierce heart burn, strong hip and lower back pain and many, many a sleeping problem. For most of this, at least for the pain anyway, I blame Maci. Being pregnant with a very active toddler at home makes pregnancy a horse of a completely different color. Everything that ails you is magnified and there's often no rest for the weary. Luckily, I have a very helpful husband who takes a brunt of the grunt work but if I at all want to be involved in the Mae Monster's life right now, resting is not an option.
When it comes down to it though, nothing, NOTHING compares to the biggest problem of them all. The mother of all my pregnancy complaints. The real reason for this post. Brace yourself while I try to put this … delicately. Veins. I suffer from varicose veins (…she declares, right arm raised, head held in shame). The words alone make me gag so I apologize for the crudeness but someone has got to educate others about this subject because I had no idea the extent to which one person can suffer. I'm going to let BabyCenter.com define them for you:
"Varicose veins are swollen veins that may bulge near the surface of the skin. These blue or purple, sometimes squiggly veins are most likely to show up in your legs, though you may also get them in your vulva or elsewhere. (In fact, hemorrhoids are really just varicose veins of the rectal area.)"
Mm-hm. "… bulge … blue or purple … squiggly … vulva … hemorrhoids." Check, check, check, check, check. They are the most irritating, unattractive and painful part of my pregnancy. And they basically occupy the entire left side of my trunk. The ENTIRE left side. So-much-so that I have resorted to purchasing and dawning what can only be described as the female version of a jock, just for the support and pain relief it brings. Mrs. Hotty-tot I am not.
(Moment of silence for my poor, poor husband.)
It turns out varicose veins are hereditary, they do not affect labor and delivery and chances are they will improve after pregnancy. Still, they're a bitch. And I hate them. Oh and you will never ever see me in a pair of shorts or a skirt again. Oh yeah, I never wore them anyway. HA! And you thought I never looked on the bright side of things!
Anyway, now that we got that out of the way … I'd like to end with a little story. I was in the bathroom the other day, peeing for probably the sixth time and once I was finished, I wiped, redressed and stood up. Immediately I undressed, sat back down and peed again.
The end. Unless … maybe you'd also like to share your pregnancy experiences, wisdom and woes? What if I offer you chocolate? I'm easily persuaded by chocolate. Or cadbury eggs. Or Pepsi. I digress. I'm off to the bathroom …