A Cause

I will be running (yes, running) on Saturday, August 11th in honor of my Dad, Mark V. Miller who committed suicide in April of 2010. My goal is to raise awareness, raise money and raise my heart rate as I attempt to complete my first ever 5k. Please click here to learn more about this event, the non-profit organization SAVE, and what you can do to help. No cause is greater to my heart and unfortunately, closer to home. Help me remove the stigma associated with mental health, depression and suicide in order to continue the conversation, raise awareness and promote education so that others may find help.

I will wear my camouflage on the outside to encourage others not to hide what's on the inside.

I hope you will consider making a donation. Donating online is safe and easy and all donations are 100% tax deductible. Anything and everything helps and I sincerely thank and appreciate your support.

DO YOU WANT TO RUN (OR WALK) WITH ME?
If you would like to participate in this event, let me know and I will send you a separate invitation to become a member of Team Camo. Minnesota is lovely in August… *wink, wink*.

Grandpa Miller

It will be two years this week since my Dad took his life. I still don't know how to put what I feel into words. It's indescribable. It's ironic actually. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him but when I try and articulate my thoughts into something… what I come up with doesn't do my feelings justice. There's an ache and a hole and a sadness like no daughter should have to feel but it's there all the same. So much of who I am, what I know and how I do things is because I learned it from my Dad. That's what he is. My Dad. Shawn's larger-then-life father-in-law. Maci's Grandpa. Maci will never get to meet him but had she, she would've hated his beard but loved the squeaky noise he could make with his cheek. She might've turned up her nose at some things he offered her to eat but I bet she would've got some ice cream out of him. She would've definitely made him nervous when she cried but ultimately melted his heart when she smiled. I know he watches and I know he's in a better place and I wish him nothing but continued peace… I just wish he could've found that peace while he was here because dammit, I miss him. He was definitely not good at some things but he was great at others and above all, to me, he was a pretty stinkin' fantastic Dad. And he had the best taste in music…

"He says son can you play me a memory, I'm not really sure how it goes… But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete, when I wore a younger man's clothes"

 

Mr. DeBoer

Guess who was asked to return to Shakopee Middle School next year, FULL TIME?

Yep. This guy…

It looks like it was a blessing in disguise getting cut from Burnsville. Turns out, they've got bigger problems then we do. A quarter of a million dollars problems.

As for Shakopee, they're stable, they're growing and they just resigned a hell of a teacher.

Good teachers mold young minds. Great teachers change lives. My husband, Mr. DeBoer, is a great teacher.

And I could not be more proud.

Fedora

Forward

This is just the best email forward I have ever gotten. Period. End of sentence. No further explanation needed.

I am in the process of making good old fashioned paper copies and slappin' 'em up everywhere.

**

Thoughts:

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old. This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!!

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Change the way you think.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month...

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. Release your children when they become adults, its their life now.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay cheque.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Just because you believe you are right, doesn't mean you are. Keep an open mind.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. Your job is to love your children, not choose who they should love.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

**

Thanks Cousin Penny!

Soda

I will turn 30 in exactly two weeks. I think I'm old enough to make my own decisions. And I've decided it's okay for me to drink a soda (or two or three or four).

My vice does not affect you in any way. I'm not recruiting you to drink with me. I'm not peer-pressuring you to take a shot of caffeine. I'm not toting any benefits whatsoever of my habit. I'd appreciate some reciprocation. 

Look. Big picture? I could be doing crack or making meth. I could be chewing and spewing. I could be drinking and driving. I could be watching rated R movies but I'm not. I'm merely drinking a beverage that I enjoy. And you know what, I don't even enjoy it as much as I could if I allowed myself what I really want. Don't get me wrong, Caffeine Free Diet Dr Pepper is mighty tasty but it doesn't hold a candle to a sugary Pepsi heavy. 

I know soda holds zero nutritional value. I know it sucks the calcium from my bones. I know it's basically a legal addictive stimulus. I know there are wiser (free) beverage choices I could make. I know it's not good for me but you know what? Neither is speeding and I guarantee everyone reading this post speeds.

So to those of you who want to put me through the calorie-counting, label-reading, plant-growing, granola-crunching ringer (*cough* Shawn, *cough* Mandi, *cough* society), I ask you this: Is there an iota of a spec of a granule of a chance that you do something others may not agree with? And how does it make you feel when that is questioned? Uh-huh. Burns a little doesn't it? Stings even?

Everyone has habits. And it's a well known fact that when you eliminate one habit, often times it's replaced with another. Therefore, to curb an invitation to pick up huffing, I think I'll just stick to my soda.

C.Y.A. (Cover Your Ass) Epilogue: I hereby officially and publicly apologize to anyone and everyone I may have offended in the past by suggesting they choose an alternative choice to something they just chose. 

Award

I'd like to thank the academy, my agent, my family, my fans and all those that voted for me. What? No one voted for me? Shit. Well, then, I guess I just owe Traci some thanks for giving me a wonderfully mindless thing to blog about… myself.

So here’s how it works:
1. Link back to the person who gave you this award.
2. Complete the questionnaire.
3. Share 7 random thoughts about yourself.
4. Award 5 blogs and let them know in a comment or email.

1. Name your favorite song.
This is literally an impossible task for me. It changes hourly depending on my mood, the weather and my credit card balance… luckily I received an iTunes giftcard for Christmas so here's what I've purchased recently:
Cover of the Rolling Stone – Dr. Hook & The Medicine Show
Drive By – Train
Slow Ride – Foghat
I Won't Give Up – Jason Mraz
Bad, Bad Leroy Brown – Jim Croce
You Don't Mess Around with Jim – Jim Croce
Some Nights – Fun.
We Are Young (feat. Janelle Monae) – Fun.
The Winner Is – from the Little Miss Sunshine soundtrack

2. Name your favorite dessert.
Currently… Oatmeal Creme Pies

3. What ticks you off?
That is a loaded question so I'll stick to one genre: driving. I'm no Raymond Babbitt, but I can drive. Unfortunately, many cannot. To these idiots I say, get out of the fast lane, stop stopping when you want to merge and stay the hell off the road.

4. When I'm upset…
I turn beat red, my heart pounds in my chest, I start to shake and then depending on my mental state, I cry. I'm a crier. Shawn doesn't fall for it anymore though. (Dammit.)

5. What is your favorite pet?
My Norman.

6. Black or White?
Black. No good can come from anything white: clothes, snow, frosting…

7. Biggest fear?
Losing my Shawn or my Maci.

Seven random thoughts/things about me:
This is much harder then I thought it would be. I feel like I'm an over-sharer so it's taken me a while to think of things some may not already know about me. Or should I say, things that people don't already know about me that I'd really care to share.
1. I like things linear. If it's not a right angle, it's a wrong angle.
2. When I was young, I wanted to be Jacques Cousteau.
3. In high school, I was both band president and volleyball captain.
4. I part my hair to my right and cross my legs to my left.
5. I probably watch five hours of TV a week.
6. I would love to take my family and live abroad.
7. I make myself balance my check book without a calculator. It's simple math people.

My 5 blog award winners:
1. Penny
2. Sara
3. Jordan
4. Drew
5. Wildcard (Let me know if you blog and are not on my blog roll or if you've updated your long lost blog recently and I should add you back to my blog roll. I'd love to add to my arsenal of procrastination.)

Introduction

Old camera…

…meet the new Batman

…and his Robin.

 

Weekend

We had one of those great lazy weekends and although I felt more then under par on Saturday and we didn't necessarily move mountains, we did accomplish a few things.

We got nekked…

…and chillaxed.

We cuddled…

…and rocked it out.

We smooched…

…and told Daddy he needs to shave.

We popped our collars…

…and sported our bling, er, Nuk.

We fed our addictions…

…while we dawned our PJs.

We got our hair did…

…Jersey style.

And we two-fisted…

…with the best of 'em.

Bring on Monday.

Mantra

I am not an overly or overtly religious person. On a scale from say atheist to Tim Tebow, I reside somewhere in the middle. To that end, I will not make this post about my (evolution of) faith but instead, I will simply report that we have been attending church again lately and last week's sermon made me revisit that resolution of mine (to find balance). The pastor ended with a mantra that stuck with me. By that I mean when I heard it, I thought it was worth remembering. So when I forget it, I emailed the pastor and kindly asked if she would send it to me. She did and it is below.

Be still and know that I am God.

Be still and know that I am.

Be still and know.

Be still.

Be.

Now, I'm a nerd at heart so it's quite possible I'm just as much intrigued by this mantra because of it's literary structure as by it's depth, simplicity and intrinsic meaning. It might be sad but I think it's just genius the way it is written. Each phrase is a repetition of the previous and although each subsequently subtracts a word or two, the absence seems to add to it's overall meaning. Further more, each stance can hold it's own but as a complete thought, it is even more powerful. I know. Nerd.

You can interpret your own conclusions and meanings but to me, it ultimately means have faith. Faith in a higher being, faith in yourself, faith in your family, faith that this too shall pass and all will again be right with the world. Or as my very wise Grandma puts it, "…it'll all come out in the warsh." I need to take time to just be present in whatever I'm doing and enjoy it for what it is and not what I wish it would become. Be present in the moment and not the memory.

P.S. So as not to make you think I've completely fallen off the philosophical deep end, I leave you with this. Did you know Dr. Seuss invented the word nerd? I learned that on the radio this morning.