Reflection

Tomorrow is my very last day at Bolger and so I'm sitting here at my now empty, clean and generic desk watching the minutes tick away. There's not much to do and quite frankly, not much of me cares to do it anyway. I've cleaned out my personal belongings, downloaded and removed everything digital that is mine and have even devoid my computer desktop of any personal wallpaper. I have officially Grinchified my cubicle. It has no character, no more color and is therefore making me both a) very sleepy and b) excited to wipe my work slate clean and start anew. It is, however, also bringing back some nostalgic memories…

It's been almost seven years since I've started this job. The weekend before I began at Bolger was also the weekend I moved to Minnesota. I remember it vividly. The state fair was in town. My parents and Shawn had moved me into my new (teeny, tiny) studio apartment. Mom and Mike hooked up my A/C unit in the window (it, was, HOT) and Dad and Shawn carried (and complained about moving) my love seat up three flights of narrow stairs with directional help and encouragement from Tammy. Pretty sure Ty and I supervised. Afterwards we went out to eat at none other then Subway, Dad treated. I learned on our wedding day that he was pretty scared about me living up in the big city by myself and was thankful when Shawn was finally able to move north and be with me. He told me so during our father/daughter dance to Billy Joel's Piano Man, his favorite song… aaaaannd, tears. Luckily I would've been fine no matter what. I had bought some mace and always kept it in my purse along with his classic self-defense advice: kick 'em in the balls and run!

When my parents had left and it was just Shawn and I, I honestly can't remember what we did although I'm guessing it was unpack and ready my lunch, driving route, alarm and clothes for the next day. When night fell, I had to say goodbye and wish Shawn well on his trip back to Iowa. This was the night I saw him cry for the very first time. It came out of no where and I was taken aback by this bullshitter breaking down in front of me. He's since told me that he was just nervous for me and kept picturing me sitting at the lunch table the next day all by myself, not knowing anyone. It makes me smile now since it's because of him, I refined my social skills and very easily made my way into a packed lunch table, full of conversation, full of bullshit from the young newbie and full of future friends.

Since that weekend, we have resided in an apartment in Eagan, a townhouse in Woodbury and now our home in Roseville. Shawn has since attained two further degrees in Health and DAPE and is working towards his Masters. He's worked at three different schools and has gained an immense amount of experience, praise and coworkers he can now call friends. We added Mr. Norman to the mix while at our townhouse in Woodbury. Even though he was a long time coming, he was still, to this day, the only impulsive thing we've ever done. Leo came last year after I finally won the battle and Shawn broke down for a buddy for Norman. Now there's Cletus. Cletus the fetus who is due in exactly seven weeks and should come in 6-8 if he/she knows what's good for her/him. Through all of this, through the changes and additions and the year from hell that came and went, two things have held steady. The bitchin' Beretta and my job at Bolger.

Ironically I won't see Shawn on my first day at my new job either although I'm pretty sure he won't be crying this time. The bastard is headed to Canada Friday for the boys' annual fishing trip. It's all he can think, talk and dream about. The man loves fishing. All cynicism aside, I wish he was going to be here but at the very least, I won't be alone. Mandi will be in town so I will have someone to pack my lunch, confirm my choice of clothing, check my alarm (three times - right Man?) and wish me well. I'd drive the Beretta just for shits, giggles and good ole memories but I might not make it and if I did, I'd be a sexy pool of sweat by the time I got there. Put that mental picture in your mind and love it.